To Love Before You Judge

(Written August 8, 2009)

Is the fact that we're all different something that everyone can understand and agree upon? Are there people out there that are simply incapable of grasping this concept? Are some people actually convinced that it is inherently bad to be different? It seems to me that this may be the beginning of how we start to see, think, and do things so backwards sometimes. And what is "different" anyway? Do we even know?

Too often, we judge someone before we even know their names. Something about them that is immediately apparent, we find offensive, and then we back off. Not only do we back off, but we do and say hateful things to them. It happens everyday. We'll be driving on the highway, and someone will cut us off. It doesn't make the least amount of difference whether it was done on purpose or not. Now this person is suddenly a worthless hack that should never have earned his/her license.

Far more alarming than this, though, is our tendency to openly and liberally condemn people who pose no immediate threat to us. What motivates this? Is it because of their tattoos? Their body piercings? Sexual orientation? Birthmarks? Assumed disabilities? Difference in religion and beliefs? Music tastes? Movie tastes? Favorite restaurants? Political affiliations? Some of this may seem silly...I take that back. ALL of this should seem VERY silly, as reasons to hate or judge anyone! Unfortunately, we seem to be experts at finding far more than what I just listed to use as justification to hate. Whatever the excuse is, it doesn't matter. It simply needs to stop. And if I'm not mistaken, it starts with you and me.

Those who know me know that I would never, myself, get a tattoo, body piercings, drink or smoke, etc. For my own reasons, I hold to certain standards. There are some things that I will always do, and other things that I will never do. It's simply the way in which I've chosen to live my life. This, in no way, makes me better than anyone else on the planet. I have a lot of respect for people who have personal convictions and live by them. They'll protect themselves and their children from things that they feel are not right for themselves and their family. Good for them for doing that. It should be respected and encouraged. But shame on all of us for judging those who, in our own estimation, do not "measure up." What's worse, is that we do this without considering, even for a second, their circumstances.

We, as a human family, are better than this.

Allow me to take this just a step further. The limitations inherent to language sometimes make it difficult to adequately express feelings on a matter that means so much to me, on a deeply personal level. With that said, I'll do my best. Recently--as in the last five years or so--I've seen many close friendships, and other meaningful relationships, fall apart, or simply end. And this because of a mistake that one or the other made. Or, maybe they're going down a path that is considered to be dangerous or harmful. While that may be true, is that reason enough to abandon them? Would true friends ever do that? Quite simply, no! What better way to protect them from what we deem as harmful than through love? Just at the time that we feel the need to distance ourselves from someone is usually the exact time we need to reach out to them. We, as human beings, are innately capable of giving so much love and light. So much that it may be impossible to measure. Why do we continually truncate this God-given ability? Why do you think it was given to us in the first place? It's safe to say that it is understood that we will all occasionally tread dark paths. Often, the only way off of it is through the light of love offered by true friends and family.